Parker and JJ: Unbreakable Bond Of Brothers
by ATWTkidzfan
Summary: When something horrible happens outside a party will the unbreakable bond between these brothers be enough to heal his invisable wounds? And can his brother help him without needing help himself? Warning: Rape and abuse.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note:** This is very, very slightly A/U. Mainly because I'm forgetting what's happened since May and we are going to pretend it starts in mid-June. Here are the main differences:

1: Parker and Liberty are not dating. Liberty is their cousin, nothing more. Parker is kind of informally dating Ashley.

2: Jack and Janet & Holden and Carly are not together, never were.

3: The age thing, if read Soap Opera Central, you'll know this was brought up recently. It is an issue. So for this story, the town is so small that the middle school and high schools are combined. JJ is 13 (will turn 14 in ... August for this fic) and Parker is 15.

Warning: This will have a non-graphic rape scene. And this is NOT a slash fic, I just wanted to make sure nobody got that idea.

I promise I will not abandon this fic. As long as I have readers, I will write until it's done.

**Prologue: **

(Parker's point of view)

"Some people think it's weird that me and JJ are so close. I don't understand that, we're brothers. I don't care that he was adopted, dad adopted me and I love him just like my real dad too. It doesn't matter. I mean, I haven't "grown up" with him or anything, we were around seven and eight when we met but that still doesn't change anything. Yeah, we fight sometimes but who doesn't fight with the people they live with every now and then? It never get's that bad ... ok, it hasn't since last year.

When we've been through as much together as we have, how can we not be this close? It does tend to cause most of our fights, but most of the time even if JJ doesn't know, what we're fighting about is me trying to protect him. I understand why JJ is so quick to forgive, even if it makes me mad sometimes. He just can't lose anybody else. I used to run off when things got bad, not anymore. Me leaving upset JJ a lot, cause of his thing about losing people. I'm not gonna hurt him just to make myself feel better.

JJ tries to act so strong all the time, it doesn't matter what's going on he always has this "everything's gonna be fine" attitude that's the total opposite of mine. Well, he does during the day. Since we share a room I'm the one that wakes him up from the nightmares. I don't mind, he's had a lot to give him nightmares. I think I'm the only one that knows he still has those, it's kind of an unspoken agreement not to talk about them.

I hate it when things hurt him and Sage, especially when it's my fault. I tend to hurt him more though. If I was just with him that day he never would have been kidnapped and if I had come up with a smarter way to save mom, he never would been teased so horribly at school. I don't tell anyone I feel like that, they'll just say it isn't really my fault, but it is. He's my little brother, it's my job to protect him. I love my parents but they - especially mom - aren't always the best at doing that for us. I can protect them, and I can protect myself. I have to."

**Chapter One:**

"I know, I know. If we don't call mom from the house by twelve-thirty we're grounded until we're thrity." Parker said as he and his brother left the house and headed for Liberty's car. It had taken much begging and pleading but all three of them had gotten their parents to let them go to a party that night. Finally with the reasoning that it was a Saturday, Summertime and they would be together along with the previously stated agreement, they were allowed to go. The reason that it took so much bartering was that their father was working the night-shift that night and their mother was out of town.

Sage was going to be staying with their other cousins, Faith, Natalie and Ethan for the night for they didn't have to worry about her. JJ wasn't really looking forward to the party. Originally Faith was going to go with them, but she had decided she didn't want to go just a couple of days ago. Without Faith to hang out with JJ knew he would be left alone. All his friends were at camp or on vacation, this would be Liberty's friends ... and Parker's girlfriend, but even so, JJ wasn't going to back out of a party.

Parker looked around the room, his brother had actually found someone to talk to for the moment. However, Parker was bored to tears. He turned around to his equally bored looking girlfriend. Parker gave himself a mental lecture for using that term, this was only their second date and he barely even knew the girl. JJ was the one that said she was his girlfriend. Finally Parker thought about the fact that he didn't know Ashley that well, there was no way they were going to to get any talking done here. He looked at her again. "Hey, you wanna go outside for a while? Maybe we can talk." he said loud enough for her to hear over the music. "Sure." she replied as she followed him out the door.

JJ was really begining to feel nervous. His conversation with that girl had lasted all of five minutes before she walked off and now Parker was no where to be found. He wandered around the house for a while. "Who let's this many teenagers in their house for a party?" he wondered as even more people came in the door. Finally he spotted Liberty and he walked over to her. "Do you know where Parker went?" he asked her. "What?" Libert said over the music, looking confused. "Where's Parker?" JJ yelled back. "Oh. He went outside with Ashley." she replied, turning back to her friends.

"That idiot!" JJ thought to himself, not really meaning it. "He'll totally lose track of time and we'll both be grounded for the rest of our lives. I've gotta find him." he thought as he headed out the door. JJ began walking around outside, hoping his brother hadn't gone far. Before long he found _himself_ hopelessly lost. "Oh, great." he thought "Now we're definitly grounded for life!". He tried to make his way back, but it wasn't working to well. He finally found a road and decided that if he picked a direction along it to follow, surely he'd at least find somewhere with a phone soon.

After a while of this he saw a car coming from what he thought was the direction of the party, the car slowed down so he stopped, hoping it was someone that would tell him how to get back. However when a large mad stepped out of the car and silently came towards him, JJ realized the mistake he'd made. "Not again!" he thought as he ran as fast as he could from the man who was now following him. He wasn't fast enough, he knew it but he kept running. Then he went down.

A blow to the head, JJ fought off a million flashbacks of his father and his kidnappers as he tried to think of a way out of this. There was no way. This man was big, he was hurting him, and he was going to kill him. He fought and screamed as the fists landed. "Not again, not again! Please! Not again!" he thought. He tried verbal begging "Please Mr., don't hurt me. Just let me go, I won't tell anybody what happened, just please don't kill me!". Nothing was working and the blows came harder and faster until he was on the ground and couldn't get back up.

Kicked. One, two, three times in the stomach, then the man was on him, pinning him to the ground. He flipped him over. JJ screamed even louder then before "Help! Please, somebody, help!". Nobody came. Then the man pulled his pants off and he knew what was coming. He didn't want to spend the last moments of his life this way. "Parker!" he screamed with a sob as the new pain came.

Parker was walking with Ashley. He didn't know what time it was, he'd forgotten all about that. They had been talking for quite a while, at least an hour and Parker was enjoying the calmness of this. Then he heard something that shook him to the core. Sobbing, then a scream. His stomach dropped, he knew that voice. "JJ!" He screamed as he ran towards the sound. As he ran he saw a man stand and run off in the other direction. "Parker, help!" came a hysterical cry, he ran faster then he'd ever known possible.

As his brother came into sight he saw that he had one hand on his pants as though he had just pulled them up. That curious thought vanished as he got closer and noticed how badly his little brother had been beaten. "Call 911!" he screamed to the girl he knew was following him. As he finally got to his brother he heard her call back "No signal!" in a frantic voice. Parker yanked out his own cell phone in a single second, "No!" he thought. He turned to Ashley "Go back to the house! Call from there! Hurry!" he screamed with the small calming thought that this was her friends house so she knew how to get back.

He looked down at his sobbing brother, still on his stomach in the grass. "She's gonna get help, she's gonna get help." he franticly repeated. The he saw something that made his heart skip a beat and made him feel like he was about to throw up. A blood stain was forming on his brothers pants. "No! No, no, no, no, no." he thought "Not JJ! That guy couldn't have ..." he felt another sinking feeling in his heart. "He did. That guy raped JJ!".


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note:**

I decided to go ahead and post the next chapter. Please, please review! I have no way of know if anyone is actually reading if you don't.

**Chapter Two:**

"Are- , Wha-, How-" Parker said cutting off each stupid question before he said it. JJ has rolled over onto his side and was looking at Parker, still crying. Finally Parker found something suitable to say. "It's gonna be ok, it'll be ok, JJ. You're gonna be ok." he said as tears formed in his own eyes. Parker didn't know what to do. He wanted to comfort his brother, but he was afraid to hug him, or really even touch him. He was terrifed that he would hurt him even more if he did.

After what felt like forever of just watching his brother Parker gave in and grabbed his brothers hand. He began again "It'll be ok. You're gonna be fine. She's getting help. Everything's gonna be ok.". All the while he was chanting a very different thing in his head. "You've hurt him again. You left him alone and he's hurt. It's your fault." he thought. JJ clung to his brothers hand, he was terrifed. "Parker, it hurts. Everything hurts." he said through his tears. "She's getting help. They'll make it better. You're gonna be ok. They'll make it stop." Parker said, desperate to reasure his brother.

It felt like hours as they waited in the grass. Both brothers crying and clinging to the others hand, neither one knowing what to say. Finally they saw a light and heard someone calling. "Parker! We're coming! Call so we can find you!" it was Ashley. "We're over here! Please hurry! He's hurt bad!" Parker called back. Finally help was there. They had to pry Parker and JJ away from each other to get JJ in the ambulance. "Liberty's going home. She's gonna make sure everyone knows!" Ashley called as Parker climbed in the ambulance. "Ok." Parker called out, barely comprehending what she said.

As the ambulance began to head to the hospital the paramedics began to work on JJ. "He's hurting. Help him." Parker said as if in a daze. One of the paramedics turned to him and tried to smile. "We will, he's going to be ok." she told him. "Sweetie, can you tell us what happened?" she asked turning back to JJ. JJ was still crying and was really wishing they'd let him hold Parker's hand. "I was looking for Parker. A car came, it slowed down. I thought it was someone from the party, but a man got out and he ... he chased me. Then he knocked me down. I - I was scared. He hit me and he kicked me and then when I was on the ground he ... he ... made me ... have s-sex with him." JJ told her through his sobs.

They had just taken JJ back and they wouldn't let Parker go with him. Parker broke down. He found himself sitting in the emergancy room crying, not caring who saw him. He looked up when he heard someone coming towards him. It was Allison, she was dating his cousin Aaron and ... she was a nurse or something. Parker was very releived to see a familer face. "What happened, Parker?" she asked as she sat down beside him. "It's JJ." he replied, trying to dry his tears "Somebody hurt him!". "Why are you alone?" she asked. "We were at a party. I should have stayed with him, but I didn't. Liberty was gonna get everybody." he said. "Oh, Parker. It's not your fault." Allison said, giving him a quick hug before she was called away.

Parker sat in a daze until Brad and Katie came running in. He felt like he was five again, but he didn't care as he ran for his uncle. Brad held Parker in his arms as he despratly tried to stop crying. More people showed up, Emma, Meg, Holden but not his parents. Parker knew it was going to take time for his mom to get there but he thought they would have gotten ahold of his dad by then. Finally a doctor came out. "He's going to be alright." the doctor said "He's got a broken arm, a twisted ankle and some broken ribs. He had to have so stitches as well, but he's going to be ok. We don't need a lot of people back there right now, but he's begging for his brother." he finished. Parker let the nurse lead him away and he knew the doctor was telling them what he hadn't been able to yet.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three:**

The minute the nurse opened the door Parker made a beeline for his little brother. He sat down on the bed beside him finally wrapped him a hug. JJ held on for dear life as he began to cry again. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I never should have left you. I'm so sorry!" Parker said as he tried to fight the tears that were again forming in his own eyes. "Stop, Parker, you didn't know." JJ replied through his own tears. Parker obeyed his brother, though he continued in his head. "Parker, it hurt!" JJ cried through sobs. "I know, I know." Parker replied as his own tears began to fall faster. And so for the next several minutes the brothers held each other as they both cried.

Finally JJ pulled away and they both began to try to stop their tears. "Where's mom and dad?" JJ asked with a desperate look in his eyes that broke Parker's heart all over again. "I'm sure mom's on her way and dad will be here as soon as he can. They'll be here soon." Parker replied. "Does everybody ... is anybody ...?" JJ trailed off as he wasn't sure exactly what to ask. "Aunt Emma and Uncle Brad are here. Meg and Holden are too. I think the doctor told them." Parker informed his brother. "Oh, ok." JJ replied. He began to get a far away look on his face and Parker realized he was probably going into shock.

"JJ, hey JJ, look at me." Parker said. JJ looked up and Parker could see there were still tears in his eyes. "It's all gonna be ok. Mom and dad will be here soon. The police will catch that guy and everything will be ok. I'll protect you. I won't leave you again." he told his little brother, his best friend. As they sat in mutual silence Parker thought over all the pain his brother had known. It was to much, it wasn't fair. Why did someone as nice and friendly and ... innocent as JJ have to be hurt so many times? He had to keep his promise. He could never let him be hurt again.

As he watched his brother, the look in his eyes tore Parker's heart to shreads. It didn't matter that JJ was adopted, JJ was just as much his little brother and Sage was his little sister. It was his job to protect JJ and he hadn't done it. JJ had been hurt again and again in so many horrible ways and he had never been able to protect him from it. How could he be such a horrible big brother? JJ had tried protect him from the bullies at school after he shot Sam even though it meant JJ had been picked on worse. It wasn't right. JJ didn't deserve a big brother as useless as him. He had to make it up to him.

Finally Parker remembered something. He franticly turned back to JJ. "Are you still hurting? Did they make it stop?" he asked. JJ looked up at him. "Oh, I'm fine. It doesn't hurt that bad now. They gave me medicine." he said. Parker was worried. He didn't trust JJ's "not that bad", JJ had hidden strep throat for weeks not that long ago, never letting on until he was practically dying. "Are you sure?" he asked, with concern obvious in his voice. "They gave me medicine. I'm fine now." JJ replied.

Suddenly the door opened and Jack came running in. Parker stood up and let his father take his place on the bed beside JJ. A scene simlar to the one earlier played out as Jack held his youngest son in his arms and JJ silently cried again, releived to finally see one of his parents. Jack looked down at JJ "Are you alright? I mean I know you're not alright but...". JJ interupted "They gave me medicine, I'm ok now." he held out his arm which in a splint at the moment as a cast hadn't been apllied yet "This and a concusson is the really the worst of it. No permanent damage." he said with an empty laugh, desperatly trying to change the mood. Nobody could laugh with him as they saw see the pain in his tear-filled eyes.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't hear before. I came as soon as I heard." Jack said. "It's ok." JJ replied, though anyone could see that nothing about that night was ok. "I sent everyone home, they want to come and see you tomorrow though." their father said. "Oh." JJ replied. "When can I go home?" he asked, his voice again giving him up and causing him to sound like a much younger child. "Probably tomorrow night, they just want to make sure you're gonna be alright." Jack said, giving his son another hug.

When the door opened again, Carly was there. She began to cry as soon as she laid eyes on her battered son who suddenly looked so small and fragile. Jack had just barely been able to hold himself together, but she couldn't. "JJ!" she cried as she ran to him. "Oh, baby!" she whispered as she smothered him in hugs and kisses. "It's gonna be ok, you're gonna be ok. I'm here now. It's ok." she told him. "Mom!" was all JJ got out before his sobs returned.

**Authors Note: **Please forgive any spelling and grammer issues, I tried my best. I know the strep throat thing was after where I said this split off, but this is my little world and I say that did happen here too.

Many thanks to TaylorxxSue and melmac06 for their reviews! Reviews are LOVE! Please keep it up and and if you haven't reviewed before it's never to late to start! Reviews are the only way I can know people actually read and care about this story.


	4. Chapter 4

Somehow the combination of pain medication and sheer exhaustion allowed JJ to sleep through what little had been left of the night when everything was done. Parker seemed to be the only one shocked by that, but then again Parker was the only one who knew nightmares were a very common thing for JJ even when he hadn't just been ... Parker could barely make himself think the word ... raped. JJ was still sleeping, Parker had only managed to dose off for a few minutes at a time before awaking with a start to check on his brother all night long. He glanced at his still-sleeping mother, his father had told him not to wake her. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, Jack was at the farm, about to tell the rest of the family what had happened.

* * *

It had come to Jack's attention that nobody actually knew what had happened to JJ. Despite Parker's assumption, the doctor had not told them, the whole doctor/patient confidentiality thing making that illegal. He also realized that the family would have to know, there would be no hiding it. And so he had managed to gather the entire family - minus the children - in the kitchen of the Snyder farm. After telling everyone to sit down and trying his best to distance himself from what he was about to say, he told them the story.

"I'm going to kill the guy." was the first response, and to no one's surprise it was from Brad. "No, no, no, no, no." Emma began to whisper as the tears fell freely from her face. "Oh, poor baby." was Lily's response. Meg and Katie were simply ghostly white and silent. There wasn't a dry eye in the room. Aaron took a quick glance around the kitchen. "Five minutes." he motioned to each of the men in the room "Each of us needs five minutes with him." he spat the word out "Then five all together. Maybe we could kill him after that." he finished, his eyes shooting venom for the man who had so horribly hurt his little cousin.

"Are they looking for him? Do they know who to look for?" Holden asked. "JJ and Parker gave statements last night, they needed them as soon as possible. They did good, we should find him. It almost killed me watching JJ have to do that." Jack answered, with tears glistening in his eyes. "Parker." Luke said suddenly "Is Parker ok?". Jack shook his head "Not really, I think he's blaiming himself. I'm gonna have a talk with him later." he explained. There was a awful silence in the kitchen.

Finally Katie broke the silence "How are we going to tell the kids?" she asked. Jack sank into the only empty chair left. "I don't know." Jack said sounding slightly panicked. Meg looked up and began to speak. "Ethan's to young to know more then 'JJ's hurt'. The older girls may figure it out if we don't tell them, and Sage will have to know at least part of it since he's her brother. And if Sage knows, it may slip to Natalie." she reasoned. "We have to tell the girls something." Holden concluded.

Fifteen minutes later it had been decided what and how to tell them and the girls were called downstairs. Liberty would normally have been none to thrilled to be lumped in with the younger girls, but she knew something horrible had happened last night and even if she hadn't the looks on the adults faces would have given it away. The room had been cleared of all but the children's parents and the children were told to sit down. Lily was the one that it had been decided was going to tell them, as two of the children were her own and also as she felt it might be better for a mother to break the horrible news to them. She took a deep breath before beginning.

"JJ was hurt very badly last night and he's in the hospital." she said gently. That was all it took for Sage to break into tears. "He's going to be ok, he'll probably come home tonight, but there's some things we need to explain to you about what happened." Lily continued. The girls nodded, all four seemed almost afraid to speak. "JJ ... ended up alone outside at that party last night. A very bad man found him and he hurt him." she said as she struggled to find the right words. All the adults saw the look of horror as the correct thought as to what may have happened briefly crossed the older girls minds.

The first of the girls spoke. "How?" little Natalie asked. "Well, he ... beat him pretty badly. And ... do you remember when you were told about bad touching?" Lily said, addressing the last part to the younger girls. Another look of horror came on the faces of all four girls, and it was obvious the older two knew. Taking a deep breath, Lily continued "The bad man hurt JJ like that too.". Sage began to cry even harder "Why? Why would somebody do that to JJ?" she asked. "I don't know. Some people are just ... evil." Lily replied, no longer able to hide her tears. Holden spoke up here "They're going to find the man who hurt him." he told the children "Now, since JJ will most likely be home tonight, why don't you go make him some pictures and cards to make him feel better?" he added.

As the two little girls went upstairs Jack knew that wasn't going to be the last time this was discussed with his daughter, not by far. He also knew that at ten, that simple explanation wouldn't last long. She would have to be told the whole truth soon. Surprisingly, Faith was the first of the girls left in the kitchen to speak. "He was raped wasn't he?" she said with tears pouring down her face. Lily hugged her daughter "Yes, sweetie. He was." she told her. With that Liberty headed for her own father who she was slowly growing accustomed too. "I should have gone with him!" she cried as she hugged her new-found father, who was trying to hold back the tears in his own eyes.

**Author's Note: **I thought this needed it's own chapter, there'll be lots more Parker and JJ in the next one.

Ok, I'm allowing anonymous reviews now ... because I didn't realize I wasn't allowing them before, sorry!

Thanks to Soulless Warlock for reviewing! Reviews are love guys! I'm allowing anon ones now so you have no excuse! Just drop in and let me know you're reading, please!


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five: **

The look on JJ's face when all the memories came back as he awoke tore Parker to shreds. He flashed back to the night before. "No permanent damage." his brother's voice said in his head. Parker looked back at his little brother. "Oh, yes there is." he thought. At this moment Carly noticed he was awake. "Hey, baby." she said in a soft voice. "Mom, I wanna go home." he replied. "I know, baby. Tonight, you'll go home tonight." his mother reassured him.

"Where's dad?" JJ suddenly asked. "He went to the farm to ... talk to everybody. He'll be back soon." Carly replied. JJ let himself sink back into his pillow. Everybody definitely knew know. "JJ, it's gonna be okay." she told him. JJ looked almost lost. "It's just ... they'll all ..." he trailed off. "JJ, everybody was so worried about you. They had to know. It's not like their going to think differently about you. They're your family. They love you." Carly said, with a hint of desperation in her voice. How was she going to handle this?

Parker physically ached for his brother. He would do anything to be able to make this better for him ... but he couldn't and that was eating him up from the inside out. Just then the door opened and their father walked. He had a smile plastered on his face and was trying to pretend like everything was fine. He had to be strong for his son. "Good morning, JJ!" he said, trying to sound cheerful. "Hey, dad." was the weak response from his son. "Everybody's very anxious to see you. A few of them are going to come visit today before you go home. I think Emma's planning something though ... she's cooking already." he said, trying to give JJ something to look forward to. Parker watched his brother as their father spoke. He knew that hadn't made it any better at all. If anything, JJ was dreading the rest of the day now.

* * *

Parker watched from the sidelines as the same thing unfolded multiple times that day. Family comes in, hugs, "How are you doing?", tears and kisses from the women. The same scene over and over again and the same uncomfortable look on his brother's face, especially when the men hugged him. Parker tried to stay out of it, figuring that if he didn't speak it would speed up these obviously uncomfortable visits for his brother. Anything for JJ, he had to help him any way he could.

It was so awkward for JJ. He hated having people worried about him, hated it with a passion. He knew it was family, and he knew that should have made it better but he honestly preferred the nurses that he didn't know from Adam to people he did know. It shocked him how uncomfortable it was for him when the men in his family hugged him. It hadn't been that bad with Parker and Jack, it hadn't been bad at all with Parker. He guessed that was because he lived with them, he knew them better, but everytime his uncle or cousins laid a hand on him to comfort him he wished he could disappear. He knew they were only trying to help but everything inside him just wanted to scream "Don't touch me!". He couldn't do that, they weren't going to hurt him. Oh, he hated all these feelings.

* * *

Finally they were all gone. Jack had left with the last visitor, Meg and was just coming back into the room now. "Good news!" Jack declared "Meg pulled some strings to get you out of here before supper-time. You can leave in an hour or so!". "Finally" JJ thought. Then he remembered what Jack had said earlier and gave a quiet sigh. Somehow he figured that he and Parker weren't going to just be able to go to their room. No, he had a feeling they were up to something. Parker had that same feeling.

* * *

Back at the station everyone was working overtime to catch the man that had raped JJ. Anger was fresh on their minds. JJ was a cops kid and not even just any cops kid, they knew JJ. They were going to track down this guy if it was the last thing they did. Quite a few of them were even hoping he would resist arrest. Anything to get some revenge for that sweet little boy. To top it all off, Margo Hughes was in charge of the case. She owed that family a big favor after what she'd done to Parker, and she planned to make good on that. This guy was going down.

* * *

**Authors Note:** I know some of you may find some of JJ's reactions a little odd. The reason he's ok with Parker hugging him and things like that is because Parker found him, which kind of created an even stronger bond, Parker's his hero, down to his very core he knows that he could never hurt him. I'm trying very hard to be realistic with this and still make everything work.

Reviews:

melmac06: Wow! You have no idea how happy comments like that make me! Thank you so much!  
Soulless Warlock: Yeah, I guess that's good for the story if it cause's reaction's like that. While I haven't decided how finding the guy will go down, it probably won't be to pretty.

This gave me an idea of something I could ask you, a bit of "Audience participation" if you will. I could easily see either Aaron or Brad trying to go through with their threats whenever I have this guy tracked down. Who do you wanna see try something? And how? Or do you want to see that at all? I'm not saying when this would happen, I like to plan ahead.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six:**

Parker was the first in the door. He'd gotten a feeling by the cars outside the house of what he'd find. He was right. Every family member that lived in town, food everywhere, excited little girls with cards ... what were they thinking?! This looked like a party! Did they not even remember where he and JJ had been the night before? Did they not remember the reason they were at that place where JJ had been ... were they not even thinking?

The instant JJ walked in the door he fought off a wave of panic. "Party." Was the single word that caused that panic. "Good grief!" he told himself in his head "It's not even a real party. Calm down!". Another wave of panic hit when he had another thought, "How many 'normal' things are gonna make me freak out like this now?". He hated this. He was JJ, he was James Joesph Larrabee Snyder. Nothing phased him. Oh, why couldn't that be true?

Parker stepped over to his brother. He tried to act totally casual as he whispered to JJ, "It's gonna be ok. It's just family. Everything's ok.". JJ seemed to relax a bit at this. "It's just family." he chanted over and over again in his head. Plus, Parker was there, his big brother who had saved his life and now seemed to almost be able to read his mind. He took a deep breath, he could handle this. "You're JJ." he told himself again. "You smile through the pain, laugh through the tears. You're strong." he continued his mental pep talk. But as he looked around the room he had to fight back a little voice inside his head. "Liar." the voice said.

He had to pull himself together before they noticed something was wrong. He slapped on that oh-so-familar mask and smiled. "There. You can do it." he told himself again before heading into the crowd of family. Fake smiles, fake laughter, "I'm fine". They weren't really buying it. "This isn't good." he thought. Then out of nowhere he was tackled by three little kids. He sucked in his breath and paled. _"No, no, no! Please, no! Please! Somebody help! Help! Parker!" _"Get off him, guys! Not today!" Parker said as calmly as he could. JJ breathed a sigh of relief, once again, Parker to the rescue.

"Sawy" was the first reply, which was then echoed by the girls, although correctly pronounced then. "I made-ed you a pic-ter!" little Ethan announced, handing JJ a piece of paper as the girls handed him the cards they had made. He smiled again and thanked them. Natalie and Ethan ran off but Sage stood by her brother a moment longer. She was getting older and finally understanding how to read people. She could tell something was very wrong with her brother. Finally she did the best thing she could think of, she hugged him. "I love you, JJ" she said before she ran off to join Natalie.

JJ fake smiled his way through dinner even though he knew everybody could see right through him. What else could he do? It wasn't like he could break down crying in front of them all. He was thirteen, he was a boy and he was JJ, he'd learned at a very young age not to cry. It embarrassed him enough that he'd done it last night. All his favorite foods. He thanked his aunt, he tried to talk about happy times at past family gatherings. Anything to keep everyone's minds off of what happened last night.

Natalie and Ethan were the only one's who believed JJ's mask. Nobody knew quite what to do though. It was all some of them could do not to start crying themselves. The pain he was trying so desperately to hide showed through in his eyes and it shook them to the core. It wasn't like this was a new reaction, this was what JJ always did ... and they hated it. They'd all seen him pull the same thing many times before. Some of them had even seen him break last year when he thought his mother was dying. None of them wanted him to bottle this up like that.

After many worried faces, uncomfortable hugs and "Love you, JJ. It's gonna be ok."'s a good bit of the family left. Down to Lily, Holden, Brad, Katie and "the kids". This felt at least a little more manageable to JJ. As the adults sat in the kitchen with the kids in other room they all became lost in thought. Brad in particular kept flashing back to holding JJ in his arms last year as the boy had finally let out all the pain he had been keeping inside about his mother's illness. It couldn't get to that again. They had to help him. This wasn't something he could keep inside.

Liberty had gotten drawn into playing video games with Parker and the little girls and Ethan had fallen asleep. Faith watched JJ slip off and head for the stairs, she followed him. When he saw her he suck down to the ground, sitting on the top stair. As she came up to sit by him she saw him trying to fight back the tears that were already in his eyes. "Hey." she said softly as she sat beside him "Nobody expects you to be ... so fine with this. You don't have to hide it." she told him. "Yes, I do." he said, sounding incredibly lost. At that Faith pulled him in to hug him.

When they'd finished the game, Parker noticed JJ had left. He panicked for a moment but quickly found him with Faith. He stood off at a distance and watched, so as not to interupt. "I'm ok now." JJ said, drying his tears and heading back downstairs. He passed Parker and walked back into the living room. Faith stayed on the stairs for a moment to calm herself. She wanted so badly to help JJ, finally she headed down towards Parker. "Thanks for being there for him." Parker told her as she passed.

* * *

Finally the rest of the family left and Sage was in bed. JJ and Parker sat in their room with their parents. Nobody knew what to say. Finally Carly spoke up, "JJ, it's not good to keep this bottled up inside." she told her son. "I'm fine." was the response from the still weak and battered looking child. "No, you are not. It wouldn't be normal if you were. Nobody would be fine after this." Jack said. JJ began to slightly panic. What was he supposed to do? Finally he calmed himself down. "I just wanna go to bed." he said in a small voice.

* * *

**Authors Note: **Thanks to melmac06 and atwt and y and r fan for the reviews! I know I'm moving pretty slow with this, but it needs to move slow to get it all in right now. I hope you guys liked this chapter! Oh, and the words in italics are memories.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven:**

JJ lay in his bed staring at the ceiling. He was desperatly trying to push away all thoughts of the night before and he wasn't succeding. He was extreamly tired and all he wanted to do was go to sleep but he was terrifed of the nightmares he was sure to have. Parker was already asleep, usually he would have stayed up with him but JJ had the feeling that Parker hadn't slept at all the night before. Maybe for once this memory wouldn't make it's way into his nightmares. "Yeah, right." he told himself before finally giving into sleep.

* * *

Parker woke up to his brother's screams and he was by his side in a second. "It's ok, JJ. It's just dream! Wake up!" he said as he gently shook his little brother. "Parker!" JJ exclaimed as he shot straight up in bed. Parker sat down on the bed and wrapped his arms around JJ. "It's ok, I'm here. It's over, it wasn't real this time." he told the smaller boy. JJ was shaking and desperatly fighting back tears when his parents came running in. "Nightmare." Parker simply told the panicked adults. Jack sat down on Parker's bed, unsure what to say. "Oh, JJ." was all Carly could manage herself as she sank to her knees in front of the two boys.

It didn't take long before Sage had rushed in too. "What's wrong? I heard JJ scream!" she asked. Jack walked over to his daughter. "He just had a really bad nightmare. He's ok, go back to bed." he told her. Sage didn't look to convinced. "Are you really ok, JJ?" she asked. JJ tried to will the tears out of his eyes before he looked at his little sister. "Yeah, I'm fine." he said, faking a smile. She didn't quite beleive him, but she left anyway.

* * *

Finally, JJ was able to convince his parents he was fine and they went back to bed. Both boys were back in their own beds, but neither was asleep. Parker was mentaly screaming at himself for falling into such a deep sleep that he hadn't been able to wake JJ up before it got that bad. JJ was now more terrified to go to sleep then he'd ever been in his life. That nightmare had felt just as a real as if he had been taken back in time. He could not handle that again. He just couldn't.

JJ looked over at his brother and say that he was still awake as well. Reminding himself that this was his big brother he allowed himself to say what he was thinking. "Parker ... why do all these people have to hurt me?" he asked in a very childlike voice with tears shimmering in his eyes. Parker's heart ached for JJ. "Because they are stupid ... and evil ... and ... I don't know." he admitted. "It's not fair." JJ said softly with a small sob. "I know." whispered Parker.

Parker got up and sat on JJ's bed. "Do you want to talk about the nightmare?" he asked his little brother. "It was about last night... Parker, I can't describe it again. I just can't." JJ said. "It's ok, it's ok. You don't have too." Parker assured him. They sat in silence for a moment. "I'm sorry I couldn't wake you up earlier. I won't let it happen again. I was just tired ... but I won't let that happen again. I'll wake you up before it get's that bad if it happens again." Parker told JJ. "I'm scared." JJ admited. "I know. Anybody would be. It's ok to be scared. I'll be here." Parker said as he headed back to his own bed.

Parker tried to make sure he'd go into his "JJ-watch" sleep mode. It was an ability he really didn't understand. He guessed it was like when you knew you had to be up early for something and you wake yourself up before the alarm. Or ... he'd heard about how some parents would instantly begin sleeping very lightly as soon as their child was born so they would here if anything happened to it. Whatever it was, he was glad he could do it, because JJ needed to be woken up from these nightmares as fast as possible, so the lighter he slept the better.

After a good hour of staring at the ceiling, JJ fell asleep against his will.

**Author's Note:** I know this wasn't that great, but it was a needed chapter. This is moving pretty slow, but it should speed up soon.

Thanks to _y and r fan _for the review!

Please review if you read this. Tell me what you like, what you don't like, what you'd like to see and I can try and work it in if it doesn't majorly affect any plans I have. I don't even care if your review is just one word. If I don't get reviews I have no way of knowing who's reading.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight:**

JJ did have another nightmare that night, but Parker kept his promise and was able to wake him up before it got too bad. However he could easily see that having two nightmares in one night had truely upset his little brother. He had offered to stay up with him if he couldn't sleep but JJ wouldn't let him. He'd pretended to be asleep within minutes, but Parker could tell he was faking. He'd tried to stay awake as well until JJ was able to go to sleep, but he had fallen asleep within half an hour.

He didn't know if JJ had ever fallen back asleep, and when he saw his brother at breakfast he was fairly certain he hadn't. He could easily see how upset his brother was but he didn't want to embarass him in front of Sage. JJ had eaten as little and as fast as possible and headed back upstairs. A part of him had wanted to instantly run after his little brother, but something told him to give the younger boy some time alone first. He had decided to finish his own breakfast at a normal pace before following him.

Since their father was at work and their mother was currently in her room and knee-deep in Metro business, Sage turned to her oldest brother. "Parker, what's wrong with JJ?" she innocently asked. Parker took a moment to decide how to reply. "He's having a tough time with what happened Saturday." he finally responded. The little girl's eyes were filled with concern for her brother. "It was really bad, wasn't it?" she said, already knowing the answer. "Yeah, it was." replied Parker.

* * *

After he finished eating Parker told Sage what he was doing and asked her not to come to the boy's room. He headed up to check on JJ. He felt that lately all to familer pain in his heart when he opened the door. His little brother was curled up in a ball on his bed, staring straight ahead and willing himself not to cry. Parker slowly walked over to the bed and sat on the end of it. "Hey." he gently said. "Hey." was the soft reply from his brother.

They sat in silence for a moment as Parker tried to come up with the right words to say. He hated seeing his baby brother (which was how he thought of him, even though they were so close in age) so ... broken. "You don't have to do this, you don't have to hide it all. Especially not from your family." Parker managed to say. JJ looked up at him. "What do you want me to do? Walk around crying all the time? I can't do that." he said with tears in his eyes.

Parker took a deep breath, desperatly hoping he could come up with good advice. "No... but you could stop faking smiles and tell the truth when we ask how you're doing ... and say something if you don't want to be touched." Parker said, remembering his brother's actions the night before. "I can't do that, Parker. I just ... I can't." JJ replied. The older boy gave a sad sigh. "JJ, nobody's going to think any less of you if you do. In fact, it's worring us that you aren't. You are nice and friendly and you care about everybody, you wouldn't hurt a fly if it wasn't trying to hurt you or someone else and you're strong and you're brave. You're the strongest and bravest person I know and I look up to you. So trust me that I'm not thinking badly of you by saying that even you can't bottle this up and do this alone." Parker told his brother.

JJ was now silently crying. "I don't know how ... I'm scared to." the younger child replied, almost in a whisper. Parker gave him a sad smile. "How about this? We'll start with just me, mom and dad and you can follow those three rules I gave you - no fake smiling, tell us the truth when we ask how you are, and say if you don't want to be touched - plus talking to us if you need to. Then we can move on to doing that with the rest of the family." he sugested. "I guess." was the soft reply he got before his brother buried his face in his arms.

"Hey, hey. It's gonna be ok. You're gonna be ok." Parker tried to reasure his brother. JJ sniffled "I'm not strong and brave like you think I am. It's pretend.". Parker was a bit suprised by that statement. "You are, JJ. Look at what you've done. You knocked ... Les out when he was hurting mom, you were able to try to escape while your kidnapper was waving a hammer in your face, you talked one of your kidnapper's into leaving you alone so mom could get you out, you told Silas off to his face after everything he did to you and you stood up to bullies for me. If that's not strong and brave I don't know what is. You can do this." he told JJ.

Parker slowly put his arm around his brother, giving him every chance to say if he didn't want him too. A wave of relief rushed over him when his brother didn't tense up at his touch. "I'll try." said the younger boy, so softly he was barely heard. "That's all we can ask you too, but you can do this, Most kid's would probably be catatonic or something if they'd been through all you have. You can do anything." Parker said, hoping to truely make his brother see how special he was. And in the back of JJ's mind he was begining to let what had been said sink in. He knew he still had an extreamly long way to go, but now he let himself have a little bit of hope that maybe, just maybe someday it would all be ok again.

**Author's Note: **This is NOT the end, I just wanted to end on a slightly happy note. Thanks again to my lone reviewer - y and r fan! I said I'd keep updating as long as I have reviewers and even just one counts, so don't worry. I should have another chapter up very soon!


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine:**

The police had made it their mission in the past few days that everyone in the state would have commited the sketch of JJ's rapist to memory. They'd gotten a few tips that had led them to believe the monster was still in the area and thus, had told Jack to make sure JJ was never, ever alone and never without an adult nearby. The boy's father hadn't needed to be told twice. With reports of how heartbreaking pain still shown brightly in the child's eye's every member of the force had vowed to catch the evil man who had done this even if it was the last thing they did.

* * *

The rest of Monday as well as the next two days had past in a similar manner. JJ, though trying to be a little more open about what he was feeling had often retreated to his room and could be found curled in a ball on his bed, just as Parker had found him. Though his parent's had tried their hand at talking to him when he got like that, they had soon discovered that Parker was the best at it. When Parker had a tennis lesson to give on Thursday, Carly had decided to invite Faith and Natalie over to hopefully distract the other two children.

The girls had finally talked JJ into playing a racing game with them and he had ended up against Natalie. As he wasn't putting much into it, it didn't take very long for the little girl to find herself well in the lead. After a while of this, she had managed to lap him twice. "I'm gonna kill you!" she laughed as she saw how badly she was about to beat the older boy. With that JJ suddenly crashed his car and she won. "Faith's turn!" Natalie giggled, oblivious to her cousin's reaction.

Faith who had been in the other room came in and took the controler from JJ who instantly headed for his room. After a moment, Sage (who had been watching her brother very carefully during the whole thing) followed. She found him in his usual position, though he uncurled as soon as he saw who it was. She sat on the edge of his bed. "You ok?" she asked. JJ was silent for a moment, he had promised he would try to tell the truth when asked that - but this was his baby sister! After a short arguement with himself, he answered her. "Not really." he said with sigh.

"Did .. did what she said ... remind you of ... Saturday?" Sage carefully asked. JJ only nodded as he tried to fight back the tears, he was not going to cry in front of his little sister. Sage was silent for a moment, before deciding it was best to ask what was on her mind. "I think something happened that nobody told me. And I think I'm big enough to know what it is. You're my brother and I want to understand why you've been so upset. JJ, what happened that night?" she asked with her concern for him obvious in her voice.

JJ's eye's began to fill with tears even as he fought them and Sage began to prepare herself for what she would be told. "You ... you know what rape is, right?" he said. Sage nodded, not liking where this was going but vowing to keep silent until he finished. "And ... you know it can happen to boys too?" he asked. His little sister nodded again as her own tears began to fill her eyes. "That's what happened. I ... I was raped." he finally managed to say, but not without several tears spilling out.

Sage hugged her brother. Something in the back of her mind had been telling her this was it all along, but it had been to horrible to believe. She knew almost as well as the others just what he had been through already and she hated that he add this to add to his ever-growing list of horrors he'd expericenced. She looked up at her beloved big brother who was still fighting back tears. "JJ, I'm crying. You can cry too." she softly said. That was all it to for him to let go of the tears in his eyes.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I know, I know. It's a Parker and JJ story - where's Parker? I just felt this was a really needed moment between JJ and Sage. Don't worry, there won't be many chapters where it's just one of them. I know this was a little shorter, but I'm ahead in writing it now, so when I get reviews, you get a new chapter!

Thanks to danberfanforever and y and r fan for their reviews!


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten:**

Parker felt bad for the poor kid he was supposed to have given a tennis lesson. He didn't think she'd learned a thing and it wasn't her fault at all. He wasn't how he was supposed to teach when he could think about as how he'd failed his little brother. He'd had to wake JJ up at least twice a night ever night so far from horrible nightmares. He could never get JJ to talk about them either. He should have stayed inside at that stupide party. Talking to his girlfriend was no where near as important as his brother's safety and he couldn't beleive he'd made that mistake.

He'd gotten a speach from Jack about how it wasn't his fault, but he knew it was. If he hadn't left JJ, JJ never would have gone looking for him and he never would be gotten raped. There was no way around it. He could have protected him. He should have protected him. But he didn't protect him. And that was something he never would forgive himself for as long as he lived. He sure hoped he could learn to function a little better while not forgiving himself though.

* * *

When Carly realized JJ and Sage weren't with the other kids, she imediatly knew where they were. She opened the door to find them still sitting on the bed. JJ had his arm around his little sister and they were sitting in silence. She walked in and sat on the bed across from them. She could see that they had both been crying and they still had tears in their eyes. Before she could decide what to say, Sage spoke up. "JJ told me, mama. I'm not a baby. You should have told me from the begining, I knew there had to be more to it." she calmly said.

Carly sighed. They had planned to tell the little girl the truth when they had her alone, but they kept putting it off. Neither her or Jack could figure out how to tell the child that her big brother had been raped. "I'm sorry. We had planned to tell you, we just didn't know how." she finally replied. After a moment of slightly awkward silence she spoke again. "Can you go downstairs and let me talk to JJ alone for a minute?" she asked. Sage nodded and quietly left the room.

"I'm sorry you had to be the one to tell her. We should have handled that for you." she said softly. "It's ok. She needed to know and I'll have to get used to saying it if I'm gonna testify when they catch him." he replied as calmly as he could, though he still shuddered when he thought of having to testify with him in the room. Carly moved to sit beside JJ on his bed and she slowly put her arm around him. When he seemed to be ok with that she pulled him in to hug him. "I'm so sorry, baby. I'd take it all away if I could." she whispered.

* * *

When Parker got home Sage walked over to him. "JJ told me." she whispered. Parker knelt in front of her, he gently put his hands on her shoulders. "Are you ok?" he asked. She nodded and then gave him a quick hug. "Where's JJ now?" he asked her. "He's in your room. Mom's with him." she replied. She quickly headed back over to Natalie, hoping she hadn't noticed that anything was off and Parker headed upstairs to find JJ.

When Parker walked in the room Carly stood up. "I was just about to go make dinner anyway." she said as she left the room. Parker sat across from his brother. "So, you had to tell Sage." he said. JJ shook his head yes, "Yeah." he said. "How'd it come up?" Parker asked. JJ gave a small sigh and looked a combination of nervous and embarassed. "Natalie said something that remided me, and I got upset. I came up here and Sage saw and followed me. She said she knew something else happened and she wanted to know what. I told her." he replied. "I'm sorry." Parker simply said, it was a blanket appology for all that was happening. JJ nodded.

**Author's Note:** Ok, ok. I know pretty much nothing important happens here, but the next chapter...

Thanks very much to L.i.n.D.s.A.Y for the review! I love getting reviews, it's the only way I can know people are actually reading! So, please, if you read, review. Even if it's just one word.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven:**

The next day Aaron was in the middle of a normal day at work when someone walked in that set his mind racing with about five seconds to come up with a plan. He grabbed the man he was working with and quietly but seriously gave an order, "Call the police. Now!". He took one last glance at the sketch he'd hung up on the wall before marching over to the man he knew was the same person. With as much civilness and benefit of the doubt as he could muster, he firmly grabbed the man's arm. "Sir, I'm going to need to to stay here until the police can come clear up something." he said.

The man instantly tried to run, giving Aaron all the proof - and the perfect excuse - he needed. He put all his weight into a single punch and managed to knock the man down in a burst of adrenaline. He sat on the man and called for help. "Someone help me hold him until the police get here! He's wanted!" he yelled. When he didn't get any responce fast enough he tried again. "He's the man from the news! The guy in that sketch over there!" he pointed to wall behind the bar, when the man luckily hadn't looked when he walked in "He's the one that raped the little boy!". With that he had about five other people helping to hold the man down.

A crowd formed around them, insuring that even if the man somehow escaped the six people holding him down, he was not getting away. "You made the worst mistake of your life." Aaron whispered to the man with more venom then the most poisonous creature in the world. "That boy is my cousin. And he's a cop's son. Not only is the law not fond of monsters that hurt children, you've hurt one of their own this time. You. Will. Pay." he finished. The man said nothing and gave up his fight, realizing he had no escape.

* * *

Jack hung up his phone and headed straight for his ex-wife's house. When she opened the door for him he walked right in. "They caught him." he said. Carly instantly threw her arms around him and squealed. When she pulled away she noticed Jack looked no where near as thrilled as she was. "JJ has to identify him. I have to take him to the station." he said. Carly's hands flew up to her mouth. "No! Jack, he's not ready!" she said. "We don't have a choice. They have to have something to hold him on so they can do the DNA test." he replied.

Carly called the boys downstairs and as soon as they saw their parents the knew it wasn't good. Jack took a deep breath before explaining what was going on. "They caught him. But you have to identify him." he gently told his youngest son. JJ instantly paled and looked like he was about to collapse. Parker gently pushed him into a chair while whispering "It'll be ok." to him. "Matching the description and the description of the car isn't enough to hold him on. We don't have a choice, I'll be with you and he won't be able to see you, JJ. We'll get it over as fast as possible. Once you identify him we can do the DNA test and they'll be no getting out of it when it matches. He won't be able to hurt you again, the trial will practically just be a formality." Jack reassured his son.

* * *

JJ felt every eye in the station on him and filled with sympathy when he walked in. He was trying his best to distance himself from what he was about to do. They all watched as the pale, terrified little boy with bruises and scars that had yet to fade was lead into the room where he would identify his attacker. JJ tried to reassure himself that if he had to be in public, at least he was no longer limping from that twisted ankle. It didn't do much good. After a short walk that felt like forever to the child, they made it to the room.

There were a couple other people in the room, as JJ had been told there would be. But that didn't make it any easier. As they called the men into the lineup JJ backed up against his father in terror. Then he froze. _A man stepped out of the car walked towards him. / The man was beating him. The bright moonlight made it easy took make out the face he would never forget. / He was on his stomach on the ground. The man pulled off his pants. He knew what was going to happen. Then it did. He was screaming and crying and the man was inside him. _"JJ! JJ are you ok!" Jack said, now kneeled in front of his hyperventilating son. "Number four. It's number four." the child managed to say, trying to calm himself down. "Are you sure?" a woman asked. "That's him. I know it." was the reply.

JJ forced himself to look away and Jack wrapped his arms around his shaking son. The woman called for the men to be lead back out and nodded to Jack, giving him a thumbs up as she left with the man who was with her. "You did it. That was him. He can't hurt you or anybody else. You're safe." Jack told now silently crying little boy. After a couple minutes JJ seemed to calm down a little bit and he gently pulled away from his father. "You did great, JJ. Now let's go home." Jack said.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Again, NOT the end. This will go through the trial and probably past that, It's not going to end any time soon. I know the way the man was caught was rather unlikely, but hey, it's a fan-fic for a soap. I'm allowed unlikely. Thanks so much to L.i.n.D.s.A.Y and y and r fan for the reviews! Please review and let me know what you think, this was a big chapter, I hope you guys liked it!


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve:**

When Jack opened the door to bring JJ home the child instantly headed for his room. Parker, who was sitting on the couch, looked up at his father. He could tell that it had definitely not gone as well as it could have, but he knew that JJ had identified the right man, their father had called ahead to tell them that much. Parker instantly followed his little brother. He didn't think it would be a good idea to leave him alone right then. Jack sighed as Carly walked into the room. How was he going to explain what had happened?

* * *

Parker walked into the room and silently closed the door before sitting down on the edge of JJ's bed. The younger boy was currently curled up in a ball at the top of the bed with his head buried in his arms. Parker was fairly certain he was crying. They sat in silence for a few moments while Parker tried to give his brother time to calm himself a little bit. Finally, Parker spoke. "I hear you did it. You picked him out. Good job. I bet it was really hard." he said softly. His words were intended to let JJ know he was proud of him and yet also let him know that he understood him being upset and was there if he needed to talk.

JJ slowly uncurled and moved closer to his brother. There was another long silence before he spoke. "It was awful." he told his brother in a voice barely loud enough to be considered a whisper. Parker slowly went to put his arm around JJ, but the smaller boy pulled away. For the first time he didn't want anyone to touch him, not even Parker. "Ok." was the gentle response. "Thank you for letting me know. Do you want to talk about what happened?" Parker asked. JJ began to curl back into a ball.

Parker was about to say something else when JJ finally spoke. "I - I saw him and it was ... it was like it was all happening again. It was ... awful." he managed to say as tears began slide down his face. Parker took a deep breath. He didn't know how to handle this, he was just a kid himself, not much older then JJ. He knew he had to say something though, his little brother needed him. "You did good. Even with all that going on, you still told them who he was. They've got him now. He won't ever be able to hurt you - or anybody else - again." Parker told his brother.

Another long silence. Parker really hoped he'd said the right thing. He was winging this, he was clueless. All he knew was that JJ needed him and he was not going to fail him again. "I know." JJ whispered "It's just..." he trailed off. Parker again felt his heart break for his little brother. "I understand, JJ. That's ok. You're going to be ok." he assured him. "I don't feel like I am." was the soft reply that he barely heard. Parker was beginning to slightly panic. This just kept getting worse. "You will be. I know it." he managed to say.

They both sat there for a long time, neither knowing what to say. It took all Parker had not to hug his brother, but he knew he didn't want to be touched. Finally the door opened and Sage walked in. She seemed to take in the situation before turning to JJ. "Hey, JJ. I'm trying to make my friend Hailey a picture frame for her birthday. Can you help me with it?" she asked. JJ instantly stood up and headed for the door. "Sure. What do want it to look like?" he said as she followed him.

Parker sighed once they were gone. Sage really was growing up. That was exactly what JJ needed to get his mind off everything right then, he loved making things. Parker had to wonder if she had really even needed help. He felt so relieved that she had been able to help, but he also felt ... he didn't know what he felt. He just felt like he needed to be the one to help JJ. It was his fault JJ had been hurt so horribly in the first place, it was his job to help him now. Or so he thought. Even so, he was grateful for Sage's help, he hadn't had a clue what to do just then.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I am SO sorry it's been so long! That real life thing decided to remind me of it's existence. I will do my absolute best not to ever go this long without updating again.

Thanks so much to my reviewers: y and r fan, MOLLYKINS, Jon and Someone. I hope you guys keep reading and reviewing! Remember, reviews are the only way I can know people are reading this and I want your input!


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen:**

Jack and Carly were still sitting on the couch trying to decide exactly what to do about their youngest son when Sage came marching downstairs and into the kitchen with a much calmer JJ following her. The parents looked at each other, seeming to silently ask each other which child had calmed him this time before reaching the mutual and still silent agreement that it was most likely both of them. Before they could say anything the doorbell rang. Carly stood to answer it and revealed Aaron who imediatly asked if JJ had identified the right man. When he was assured JJ had, he began his story of how the man was caught.

* * *

Parker sat in his room still feeling guilty that he hadn't been the one to calm his brother. He felt usless. He was focusing only on the fact that he hadn't been able to calm JJ then and not the fact that he'd done it almost every time before. He was begining to see all aspects of helping JJ as "protecting" him and therefore had decided it was his job. And he'd just failed his job. His ten year old sister had been better at his job then him. He was still glad she came though. If he was a complete and total failure ("again" the little voice in his head added) somebody had to be there for JJ.

In his despret quest to help his little brother he'd begun sleeping less and less. He didn't trust himself - even in his "JJ-Watch" mode - to be able to wake JJ up in time. And so suddenly he'd found himself waking up many times in the night unable to go to sleep. He almost found it funny that he seemed to be getting even less sleep then JJ. JJ would sleep until the nightmares came, Parker barely slept at all. And so as he mentally scolded himself he somehow found himself laying down, then closing his eyes and then finally falling into a sleep that wouldn't be interupted by fear for his little brother.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sage was praising herself. JJ had been upset and she had a good idea why, but she had remember the only thing that almost always seemed to calm him - making things. Sure enough, JJ's mind was totally on his new project. Sage thought she even saw a smile on his face as he'd marched out to the garage to find the tools he'd managed to get their dad to leave for him. She stood by him as he carved out the pieces for the picture frame. He'd totally taken over right then but she didn't even care.

JJ was compleatly in his element with the tools. He pushed every upseting thing far to the back of his mind and was focusing only on making sure Sage's friend would have the best picture frame ever. He sanded and pieced the frame together thinking only of how he wanted it to look when he was done. This was something he loved to do. He'd picture what he wanted and then he would make it. It was simple and he was in control.

Finally, Sage came marching over with some paint. "JJ, I wanna help with the paint. I'm the one giving it to her, I wanna feel like I had some part in making it, ok?" she told her big brother. JJ agreed and then wandered off only to come back in about a minute with two small paint brushes. "This is a good color for it." JJ commented when they were about halfway through. Sage was a little suprised, as he hadn't spoken much while he was working but she didn't let it show. "Yeah, it is. Thanks for helping me." she told him. They finished the rest in a comfortable silence.

* * *

**Author's Note:** There was going to be more to this, but then I realized this was a good stopping point. I'll update again soon, I promise. Thanks to y and r fan and Bliss for their reviews! Just a little sidenote: Just because your sugestions haven't shown up yet, don't think they won't. I have to have time to work things in.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen:**

Parker sat in his bed pondering what to do that day. Sage had occupied JJ yesterday and has been able to really get his mind off of things. Not to mention it had allowed Parker a much needed nap, not that he would ever admit it. He wasn't the one who had been attacked that awful night. He didn't get to complain. It was his fault anyway, he deserved to feel so awful. He deserved that awful pain in his heart every time he saw his brother curled up in a ball on his bed, every time he has to wake JJ up from a nightmare and every time he looked into those heart-breakingly haunted eyes.

No - he had to stop himself. Now is notthe time to think about that. Now is the time to think about how to make that better today. Preferably how to make it better without risking causing a flashback. That part was much harder then it sounded, Parker realized as he mentally checked of many of JJ's favorite activities due to what could potentially happen. Finally he found something that sounded safe. He'd take JJ outside to play catch and then maybe later they could get someone to take them down to the farm and help with the animals.

With that decided, Parker quickly got ready for the day and went downstairs to eat breakfast. He had been surprised that JJ hadn't come back upstairs yet and he smiled when he saw why. Sage had JJ wrapped up in last-minute additions to the picture frame he'd made last night. His little brother and sister were currently covered in glitter. Parker made himself a bowl of cereal and ate it quickly before going to find his mother. He explained his plans and she told him she'd drop him and JJ of on her way to take Sage to the birthday party around one.

Parker glanced at his watch as JJ went to clean up. It was about eleven thirty, which was beginning to be normal thing lately. If JJ could ever go back to sleep after a nightmare he usually ended up sleeping late and Parker would as well, which helped his sleep deprivation a little bit. As soon as JJ came back into the room Parker went over to him. It would not do to give JJ much time to think today. It was Saturday again. It had officially been a week since he has gotten their parents to let them go to that stupid party. He fought down another wave of guilt before he spoke.

"Hey, JJ! Wanna go play catch? Mom's taking us down to the farm to help with the animals in a little bit." Parker said as he tried to keep all hint of his current emotions out of his voice. JJ gave a smile at the normalcy - a tiny smile, but one Parker though might have actually been real. "Sure." JJ said as he followed his brother outside. They threw the ball (a random softer ball of Sage's due to Parker's worrying) back and forth in silence for a while, both of them trying to get caught up in the repetitive activity and forget about real life. Carly smiled as she watched her boys through the window. It was so good to see such a normal sight with what JJ was going through. She smiled a little more as she thought of how good Sage and Parker were with their brother.

Try as he might, JJ wasn't able to lose himself in the game of catch like he had hoped. Every time he had to make a sudden movement the still-fading bruises and his ribs reminded him of what he was trying to forget, not to mention the fact that he could only use one arm which was making for a rather interesting game. Parker could tell sometime wasn't quite right, but it wasn't until he found himself looking at the bruises that weren't covered by his brother's clothing that he realized what it was. He wanted to slap himself - how stupid was he?!?! At this point he knew it would only upset JJ if he tried to stop the game, so he kept going - carefully until Carly called them to leave.

* * *

**Author's Note:**I am SO sorry for taking so long again! At first I was busy with a story I'm writing somewhere else, then I got sick with possibly the worst cold ever which lasted FOREVER. Now, I've had strep throat multiple times and pneumonia twice so I don't complain about colds easily - this is a legitimate excuse. Then we had family over for Thanksgiving I finally had a chance to update last weekend - then I had no internet access. This week I've been catching up with everything else and getting ready for Christmas but I managed to find time - while baby-sitting my siblings for part of it to write this for you guys.

Thanks SO much to my wonderful reviewers: y and r fan, Bliss and CrazyPeepFromMars. Reviews are love!


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen:**

Parker watched his brother as they headed off to feed the animals. Letting Sage drive the kaboda always had the potential to be a bad idea and yet she always convinced their parents to let her. And then they sent him and JJ off with her. Watching her and JJ at the same time was quite a feat as they were on opposite sides of him. After only having to step on the breaks three times they finally got to where the cows were kept. Anyone else might say 'finally' was a bit of a stretch considering they could have walked there, but they weren't in a moving vehicle with a ten year old driving.

They fed the cows and then moved on to the other animals carefully pouring the right ammounts of different kinds of feed into different containers and making sure all the animals had water. By the time that had fed the animals they were supposed to, Sage had gotten bored and they had to take her back up to the house. She decided to go help Holden with the horses while Parker and JJ went to check a section of fence they had been asked to look at.

Judging by the silence as the carefully checked each section of fence, Parker hoped this wasn't a bad idea. The empty spot, surrounded by nothing but grass and the fence was reminding even him of the place were he had found JJ. After a few more minutes of the slightly concerning silence, Parker decided he needed to speak up. "Hey, JJ. Are you alright?" he said sincerly. JJ nodded, "I'll be ok. Gotta get back to normal." he said. Parker sighed, "But it doesn't have to be so soon. It's only been a week, JJ." he calmly replied, with a hint of his worry showing through. "I want to get back to normal." was JJ's only responce.

Parker sighed. It was next to impossible to JJ to admit when something was wrong. His eyes gave everything away though. It was the one thing JJ had never really learned to hide. He could put a perfect mask on the rest of his face, but if you looked him in the eyes you could see. His eyes were haunted, again. "I know you do JJ. But ... it's not gonna go away. I know you want it too, I do too and so does everyone else. It won't just disapear though and you can't just hide it." he said, trying to reason with the younger boy. "It's not fair." JJ whispered with a small sigh. "I know it's not." Parker replied.

They walked in silence again, continuing to check the fences. It never ceased to amazing JJ how quickly the animals could break a spot down. It was much easier to check the fences every once and a while then to have to round up how every many animals escaped. He tried to concentrate soley on the fence, but it was much to simple a task for his mind not to wander. Lately it was never a good this when that happened. His surroundings weren't helping much either. He focused on the fence, the sun and Parker. The three differences in where he was now and where he was last week.

Last week. Somehow that just didn't seem right. It felt like last night. Of course, that might be because he was re-living it every night. Usually at least twice. Sometimes he had nightmares about other things though. There was the awful mixed up ones to where his father or Silas did ... things they never actually did do. He didn't know what he would do if Parker wasn't there. He was never able to talk to Parker about the nightmares. But Parker was always there. He would wake him up at then he would just sit with him for a while. That was enough. He felt safer as long as his big brother was there.

But he knew he had to find a way to do something. He hated the nightmares, but he had to stop them for his brother too. Parker wasn't sleeping. He seemed to be sleeping even less then JJ was. JJ didn't know what to do though, they shared a room and he had nightmares. At this point, he half wondered if it would even be any different if they magicly didn't share a room. Parker seemed to have a kind of sixth sense about JJ's nightmares, waking him up as soon as he showed the tiniest sign of one. Who else could do that? It was yet another reason he looked up to Parker so much.

Finally, they finished checking the section of fence they had been told to look at and headed back. JJ unconciously breathed a sigh of relief when they got back to the barn. Parker felt another pang of guilt. He should have found a reason to let JJ stay behind, it had obviously upset him. He didn't have time to think much about it though, they had to finish helping with the horses. It didn't take long to finish though, and Carly deciced it was time to go home.

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**Authors Note:** I am SO sorry this took so long. I managed to get snowed in at my grandmothers house with no internet, otherwise this would have been up yesterday. I hope it's ok. Some of bits came from helping at my grandparents farm. A kaboda is like a small truck, but it's got open sides at the seats and no windshield, it's meant to just be driven around places like farms. I know from experience how fun it is to be in one with a child driving. The back of our van does too now. Anyway, feedback is always love as it helps to know what you like and don't like and what you would like to see. Thanks for the last reviews, as always I LOVED them!


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen:  
**

Parker sat alone in the dark kitchen of the farm. There was a half-empty glass of water in front of him. He was in the middle of contemplating whether or not anyone would notice if he took to drinking coffee at midnight. It seemed that no matter how much he tried to fight it, that sleep thing kept insisting it was necessary. He was only sleeping a couple of hours a night at this point due to his worry for JJ and coffee had become his best friend during the day. Suddenly a scream rang through the house with a cry of "Parker!" and he was on his feet before he had time to think.

Parker felt like he could kick himself for leaving the room as he tried to wake JJ from his nightmare. His heart felt like it was being ripped oit of his chest as his brother screamed for help and screamed for him. Finally, JJ shot upright and instantly thought himself into Parker's arms, crying. It was one of those times where Parker felt so much older then his brother. Parker set into his familiar chant of "It's ok, it's over, I'm here." as the rest of the family ran into the room.

JJ hated feeling so helpless, but he couldn't stop the tears. He knew he was clinging to Parker like he was three, but he had been so happy to see his brother when he had woken up. He had been back in that night again, where Parker was the only one there who could possibly save him. Where all he had wanted was for what was happening to stop. So when he was suddenly jerked from lying on the ground screaming for his brother to rescue him to lying in his bed with his brother right there, he couldn't help himself. He had to hold onto his brother to reassure himself that Parker was really there and he was really safe.

It broke Carly's heart to know she wasn't the one who could calm JJ down. All she could do was watch while Parker did it and while part of her understood, another part of her wanted to be the one comforting her little boy. Sage watched for a moment before walking over and sitting on the other side of JJ. "We're all here JJ. You're ok now." she said softly. JJ quickly pulled away and wiped the tears from his face upon hearing his sister's voice. "Thanks, Sage." he said in a shaky voice "I'm fi- ... it's better now. I was just upset. You can go back to sleep." he finished.

Sage hugged her big brother before heading back to bed and Carly took her cue to walk over. Taking her chance to do what she had wanted to earlier she sat at the same spot Sage had and wrapped her arms around her youngest son as she pulled him close to her and held him. "If I could do anything to make this better for you, I swear I would. We all would." she told him through her own tears. "I know." JJ barely whispered as he simply let her hold him. Sitting like that, with his mother holding him and Parker right beside him, he almost felt safe.

"Do you think you can go back to sleep?" Carly asked as she finally let go of her son. JJ nodded as she stood up. She smiled at him before turning to Parker. "You too, Parker. Please." she told him. Parker nodded at the softly given order that he wasn't sure he could abide by. Once she left the room, he turned back to JJ. "Better now?" he asked him. "As much as it can be. I think I can sleep now." JJ answered. Parker got up and went back to his own bed, watching JJ until he was certain the younger boy was again asleep. And then, against his better judgement, he fell asleep as well.

* * *

**Author's Note:**I have discovered that Real Life is not obedient. You see, no matter how much you tell it to calm down it just doesn't listen. My mother has been sick recently, she needs kidney surgery AND has just been diagnosed with diabetes, she should be ok after the surgery but I've been having to do a lot of baby-sitting recently. Also, my great-grandmother lost her fight with cancer last week, she was 87 and ready to go Home but it was still sad for us and the funeral served to have me outside in the cold for an hour when I already had a cold leading to me being rather miserable for a few days. And most recently my sister has gotten sick and has been spiking some fairly high fevers. I'm not giving up this story, but until life calms down I've realized I can't promise very prompt updates and I am VERY sorry. I hope this doesn't last long because I enjoy writing this story of Parker and JJ's bond (though I HAVE put JJ though a lot to highlight it) and I love reading what you guys think of it. Anyway, it is LATE here, but I just had to get a new chapter out. Sorry it's so short, I hope it's ok.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen:**

JJ sat in his bed, curled up in a ball again. Though he wasn't sure how, he'd woken up on his own before anything alerted Parker to the nightmare. All he wanted in that moment was his brother but he was not going to wake him up. He knew his brother was probably getting even less sleep then he was. Parker wasn't very good at hiding things. He could easily tell that Parker was blaming himself and he had tried many times to convince his big brother that it was not his fault. If it was anyone's fault it was his own. He should have gotten Liberty to go with him. He should have paid attention to where he was going.

It was that ... man's fault too. He knew that. He'd had enough therapy after his father and the kidnapping to have that drilled into his head. He understood that. He didn't understand why he had to be hurt like this. He didn't understand why Les had to beat him and he didn't understand why Les had taken away his first mother, Julia from him, he didn't understand why she'd had to be murdered. He didn't understand why Carly had abandoned him and his siblings, he was quick to forgive, but he didn't understand. He didn't understand why Silas and Ava had kidnapped him. They'd wanted the stupid jewelry box but they forgot all about that, he didn't understand why Silas thought Les was so great he needed to imitate him. He didn't understand why everyone had been so quick to pin his brother for murder and torment him for standing up for him. They knew why Parker had shot Sam, Sam was trying to rape their mother. He didn't understand why they didn't understand. And he didn't understand why he had been raped.

He remembered that night so clearly. He remembered laying there and thinking over and over again "Parker saved mom, Parker will save me.". But Parker hadn't been able to save him from that. Parker hadn't been close enough to keep that from happening, but he had saved his life. He could still see the knife the man had shown him just as well as he could still feel the pain. He knew he would be dead if Parker hadn't come and he tried to tell Parker that as well. But Parker knew he hadn't come in time to save him entirely, and he hadn't. JJ couldn't change that no matter how much he wished he could, all he could do was tell Parker he didn't blame him so he shouldn't blame himself. Parker didn't seem to understand that.

Of course, he guessed it didn't help that Parker could read him better then anyone else. Parker could tell more then anyone how much he was hurting. He couldn't hide it from Parker and he didn't want to have to. He needed his big brother, he needed Parker to make everything seem safe again. It would be so much easier if Parker would stop blaming himself, though. Parker was the best big brother JJ could ever ask for, but he almost took the job too seriously at times. It was nearly impossible to convince him that he wasn't responsible for every bad thing that happened to him or Sage on a normal basis, but it was worse now. Of course, part of that was that this was the worst thing to happen to either of them yet. JJ certainly hoped it would stay that way too.

He couldn't handle anything of this magnitude happening to him again. Not to mention if anything happened to Sage... Ok, now he understood Parker a bit better. Calming him down might be harder then he thought. He had to start by letting Parker sleep, no matter how much he wanted someone with his right then. He hated the memories with a passion. He would give anything to turn back time and never have gone to that stupid party. He was going though all of this because he hadn't wanted to miss a party. He officially hated parties now. He wasn't sure he'd ever be able to hear the word without being yanked back to that horrible night again. He just hoped he got slightly better at hiding his emotions before being around people that didn't know.

Oh, no. Some of his friends would be back soon. He had to snap out of this. He just had no clue how. It felt like all the pain would never go away. Most of the time he was still there in his head. Screaming and crying, hurting. He just wanted a break from feeling everything. He wanted to feel normal again. Well, normal-ish. He wanted to feel like himself again. He knew it would never be the same again. He'd always had Les when he was younger so he couldn't say that changed him, but losing Julia, Carly leaving, the kidnapping ... all that had changed him. Somehow he had the feeling this would change him even more. He didn't want it to. He just wanted to erase that awful night from his memory.

He wasn't sure when he had started to cry, he had probably been crying the whole time. But as the sun started to come up, Parker stirred. As soon as his brother opened his eyes he bolted straight to JJ. He instantly wrapped his arms around his little brother. JJ let him, enjoying the safer feeling that instantly came with having Parker by his side. "Why didn't you wake me up?" Parker asked, almost scolding. JJ sighed, "You need to sleep, Parker." he replied. Parker kept holding his brother, "I need to help you." he insisted. JJ tried to dry his tears as he looked up at Parker, "And you can't do that if you collapse from lack of sleep or something. This isn't your fault. I don't blame you. Nobody blames you. I ... I do need you, Parker. But I need you to take care of yourself too, not just me." he said. They sat in silence for a while as JJ composed himself. "Come on, let's get breakfast." JJ said motioning for Parker to follow as headed out the door.

* * *

**Author's Note: **There you have it! A new, slightly longer and in my opinion (which I hope you share), better chapter. It's still beyond crazy over here, but we're getting through it.

Reviews:

**y&r fan**: I am so glad you enjoyed the chapter. Don't ever worry about me giving the story up, that won't happen. Thank you for the kind words about my great-grandmother. She was amazing woman and it was great loss for so many people. But I have absolutly no doubt that she is in Heaven now.

**casey**: What a wonderful review. I'm glad you think it is so good. And thank you, I certainly hope things settle down too. Fingers crossed that everything goes well and they should in the next few weeks.

**fan.:** I will! I hope you enjoyed this chapter too.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen:**

Carly found herself watching her son's out the window again. They seemed to have gone outside just to get a change of scenery, as they appeared to just be talking. They were so close. Even though JJ was definitely smaller then Parker, when she met new people they sometimes seemed to have a hard time believing that her boys weren't twins, much less that JJ was adopted. JJ was certainly a testament to the fact that family doesn't have to mean blood. Les was certainly no kind of father to JJ and it would be impossible for JJ to be any more her son then he was. Parker and JJ had an unbreakable bond, and she found herself almost jealous of how much more JJ was opening up to Parker then her, at times. It never lasted long though, as she was just glad he was able to open up to someone like that, and if it couldn't be her or Jack - and it certainly wouldn't be the therapist yet, he had made that clear - she was glad it was Parker.

She was so proud of them both. She knew they didn't feel it at times, but they were both such strong, brave boys. They had been through so much more then they ever should have had too. They had somehow made it through every time though. This would be the hardest to work through, but she knew they would do it. She still couldn't believe that this had happened to her child, none of them could believe it. Parker seemed to be taking it the hardest though. She couldn't figure out how to convince him that it was impossible for him to always save them, that nobody could do that. But for now, she just wanted to watch them and pretend for a minute there was some semblance of normal in their lives.

* * *

Parker was doing his best to keep the conversation on things as far separated from the rape as possible. He simply wanted to see his brother relax and that was not something that happened often lately. They discussed the teachers they had the year before and wondered which ones they would get when they went back. Parker actually got a smile out of JJ when he mentioned that he hoped JJ didn't end up with his old history teacher. "I don't see how somebody with the mind set of a twelve year old air head is supposed to teach highschoolers. She's nice and all but ..." he trailed off but his younger brother had remembered Parker's stories of the woman well enough to be amused.

"Hey, guys!" the heard someone yell. Parker turned around to see Connor, a friend of theirs running into the yard. 'Oh, no. He's back already." Parker thought before quickly turning to JJ to look him over. The bruises were starting to fade and Connor wasn't extremely observant ... they might be able to pull it off without him figuring out the truth. "Hey, Connor! I forgot you got back this week!" he said, trying to sound as normal as possible. "We had so much fun! What have you guys - what happened, JJ?" the excited boy replied. JJ paled and Parker quickly spoke for him. "Bike accident. I got to far ahead of him and he was trying to catch up, got to going to fast and he hit a bump. Flew over the handlebars. It was my fault really." he lied. JJ shot him a look showing that he was both extremely grateful and slightly annoyed that Parker was blaming himself even in a cover story.

"Ouch! What else have you guys been up to while I was gone?" their friend replied, easily believing the story. "Not much. We survived another episode of Sage driving at the farm." JJ answered, knowing that staying silent would only make Connor suspicious. "Impressive." the fourteen year old said as he laughed. He had experienced Sage's driving skills once while visiting the farm and, as most people did, he had no desire to repeat the experience. "So is everything still intact?" he continued. Parker laughed this time, "Yeah. She actually managed not to run it into any cars, barns, houses or fences this time. I was impressed." he told the other boy. JJ laughed at that - a fake laugh, Parker noted, though Connor didn't. "We're hoping she's improving, but I have a bad feeling it was just luck." the younger boy commented.

After a few more minutes of small talk with JJ putting on an admirable acting job, Connor seemed to pull a football out of mid-air. "Wanna play?" he asked with a grin. Parker looked at him like he was insane. "There's three of us and JJ's arm is broken how -" Connor cut him off, "We'll improvise." he said. Parker and JJ gave each other their famous look with which they seemed to be able to practially communicate. Finally, JJ shrugged, "I guess." he said with a sigh. "This should be interesting." Parker mumbled under his breath. The game - which Connor seemed to be making up as he went along - went fairly well until Connor made the very ill-advised decision to tackle JJ.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I am SO sorry it's been so long!!! My life has been totally insane lately but it's finally calmed down. I should be able to update more frequently now. This would have been up sooner, but I have been planning this part of the story since the begining so I had about 500 versions as to how it played out. I had to pick one. The next chapter should be up pretty soon ... but I couldn't resist leaving a little cliffhanger. I'm playing some family stuff soon, but I'd like to know what you guys would like to see.

Thanks to "Big Fan" for the review last time!!!


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19:**

The moment Connor tackled him, JJ was ripped from reality and thrown back to that horrible night just a little over a week ago with a vengeance. A broken-sounding cry of "No!" had Parker running to him brother. "Please! Stop! Parker, help me!" JJ was sobbing. Conner stood and backed away in shock before Parker even had time to get to JJ. With the other boy off of him, JJ had curled into a ball, continuing to scream and cry as he relived that night in a horrific flashback. "Come on JJ. You're safe. I'm here. It's Parker. You're ok now." Parker was chanting as he tried to get through to JJ.

Connor's eyes suddenly fixed on the bruises he had seen earlier, noticing for the first time that the ones on his arms were shaped like hands, as though he'd been forcefully grabbed or held down. "What's happening?" he asked, beginning to slightly panic. Parker didn't respond as he kept trying to get through to his brother. Finally JJ's head jerked up and he made eye contact with his brother. It only took a few seconds for him to realized what had happened and he bolted into the house as fast as he could considering that he had injured his not-yet-healed ribs.

"What was that! He just freaked out and he's got bruises shaped like handprints. What's going on!" Conner demanded. Parker closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, "Obviously something bad happened, but it's not my story to tell. It's his. I've got to get to him and I don't know how long this'll take. I'm sorry, Connor. See you later?" he explained. Connor simply nodded and Parker ran into the house after his brother. He headed straight up the stair to find JJ franticly pacing the room and Carly looking very upset. "He won't talk to me." she said when Parker walked in.

"It didn't tell him anything, I told him it wasn't my story to tell. JJ, Connor's a good guy. He's worried about you, but he's not gonna tell anyone what happened." Parker said in an attempt to calm his brother. "What did happen? I'd gone to my study and I had the door shut, by the time I realized something was wrong and headed outside he came running in." their mother said, obviously worried. JJ continued his pacing as Parker explained, "Connor had us playing some weird version of football and he tackled JJ. I think he had a flashback.". Carly nodded in understanding, "JJ, sweetie, calm down." she said, but when she tried to touch his shoulder to calm him, he jumped and she pulled her hand back. There were tears in Carly's eyes as she turned to Parker, "I think ... maybe he needs you." she said. Parker nodded and she left the room.

Parker let JJ pace for a moment as he thought and JJ seemed to calm down a bit on his own, though he contiued pacing. "JJ, it's ok now. I know you're upset but you do need to calm down." Parker asked. He had never known JJ to get this worked up after a nightmare, he could only assumed that the flashback was worse or he was upset that Connor had seen. That and he had to be in a bit of pain from his ribs ... "Why don't you sit down?" he added. The younger boy didn't sit down, but he did finally speak. "That was awful, Parker." he said in barely a whisper. "I know." was his brother's response.

JJ continued his pacing as he spoke. "Why can't I be normal? Why do I have to do crazy things like that? Connor ... Connor must think I'm insane!" he said in a panicked voice. Parker took a deep breath, "JJ ... anyone that had been through what you have would ... react the same way. It's normal for ... people that have been through this. Connor won't think you're crazy, he's just worried." he told his brother. JJ's pacing seemed to be making him more and more upset rather then calming him down. "I want to really be normal! I don't want to be normal for a rape victim!" he nearly yelled, trying his hardest to force back the tears that had exploded into his eyes when he said the word that he hated to even think. Parker couldn't find the words to respond.

"I don't want to remember. Especially not like that. It's ... it's horrible. It's so real. When he tackled me ..." JJ trailed off for a moment as he tried again to collect himself without success. "I was back there. I was in the grass, and I was hurt. And he was on top of me, it felt like he was crushing me and and I tried to get away again, I tried so hard, but he was so heavy! And ... he was inside of me and it hurt! Parker, it hurt!" he told his brother, ending with a heartbreaking sob as he leaned into the corner of the wall. "Oh, JJ." Parker said as he steped closer to his brother. "It hurt. It hurt so bad." he repeated as he slid down the wall and into the floor. Parker was instantly at his brothers side. He slowly wrapped his arms around his brothers shoulders and was halfway surprised when JJ let him. He didn't know how to help his little brother, so he just held him as he continued sobbing.

"It was ... worse then I ever thought it could be. I was crying ... and I was screaming. It ... it hurt to bad not too. I told him no. I kept telling him no! I just wanted it to stop. I asked him to stop ... I asked him to please stop but he didn't! He knew it hurt but he wouldn't stop! He just hurt me worse! Why did he do that? Why does this stuff happen to me? What did I do wrong?" the smaller boy finished his story through his tears. "Nothing. There's ... there are evil people. And evil people like to hurt people that aren't like them. And you are ... amazing. You are the best person I know. And I will not let you be hurt again." Parker tried to explain. He had never been so angry at anyone in his life. If anyone in the world deserved to die, it was the monster that did this to JJ. It was driving him crazy that he couldn't fix this for his brother. All he could do was hold his littler brother as he slowly calmed down and let him know that he was not alone.

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**Author's Note:***sighs* No reviews. That makes me very sad. I know it's probably my own fault for not MAKING time to update when I was so busy but ... I hope you guys'll forgive me and let me know what you think. If anybody is actually reading. I've had this part in my head since I started writing the story. These past two chapters were some of the very first scenes I came up with. I hope you like them. I know they're sad.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20:**

Connor sat in the grass outside of his friends house trying to make some sense out of what had just happened. Parker and JJ were his best friends and while they didn't often talk about the things they had gone through (he suspected they talked to no one but each other about many things), he usually at least knew the basics. It threw him for a loop to have no idea what had happened. JJ was always so strong, no matter what was going on, no matter what had happened, JJ never let it show. There were times when Connor didn't really think that was a good thing, but that was JJ. For him to lose it like that, it had to be awful.

He went over the events in his head again. The broken arm, the bruises, the things JJ had said when ... whatever that was happened. Somebody had hurt JJ. Connor just couldn't figure out who. JJ's father was dead, Silas was in jail and he'd never got the impression that the female kidnapper had hurt him ... just hadn't stopped the other one. So it was someone new. And he didn't get the impression it was something still happening so that most likely ruled out anyone he knew that was still walking around. JJ had a protective family. But who would randomly beat JJ up? And why? Was it yet another kidnapping attempt? Another insane friend of JJ's father's? Maybe he interrupted a robbery? A hostage situation? Connor decided he might should have paid more attention to the news lately.

Suddenly Connor heard something from inside the house. He thought it was JJ. He couldn't quite make out the words until the end "victim" was all he heard. And that was enough to send his mind racing again. He tried to calm himself down. He could guess as much as he wanted, but he wasn't going to find out what had happened until JJ told him. He was worried for his friend but there really wasn't anything he could do. He finally walked home still reeling from the events of the afternoon.

__________________________________

As JJ's crying softened until it was nearly silent, but he was still shaking. It was all Parker could do to keep from crying himself. It wasn't right that this had happened to JJ and it wasn't right that there wasn't anything he could do to fix it. Part of him envied Aaron for getting the chance to punch the monster. Another part of him was afraid he couldn't have shown the restraint Aaron did in only throwing one punch. Especially when there were people holding the guy down. Jail wasn't something he wanted to experience again, but if he could get some revenge for JJ, he was beginning to think it would be worth it.

JJ hated crying in front of people. It seemed that an exception was being made for Parker more and more. He'd cried in front of his parents as well, but more often it was in front of Parker. Everyone kept telling him that it was ok to cry, that it was normal, but he still hated it. In that moment however, he really couldn't really bring himself to care. He was crumpled on the floor of his bedroom, crying and shaking in his brothers arms and he couldn't care less about it. Because even with everything he had been through, he had never been so terrified as he had been that horrible night and he had just re-lived it - and in front of Connor! All he cared about was reminding himself that he was safe.

As always, Parker seemed to know just what he needed. Even as he slowly calmed down his big brother still sat there with his arms wrapped protectively around him telling him over and over again that he was with him and it would be ok. He didn't know if he could ever make Parker understand how much that helped. He knew he was safe with Parker and so by simply being there, he was calming JJ down. Even as the violent, horrific memories finally stopped flashing in front of his eyes and the pain that his mind had cruelly replayed during the flashback faded, leaving only the pain in his ribs which Connor had unknowingly hurt, he didn't dare move a muscle. He was afraid that if he did, Parker would take that as a sign to let go and he still needed the added feeling of safety that his older brothers protective arms were giving him.

Parker didn't have any idea how long they had been sitting there, but he didn't dare move until JJ was ready. JJ was still crying, silently now, but Parker could see the tears running down his little brother's face. He knew he was one of the very, very few people JJ would ever allow to see him like this. He felt a sense of pride that his brother trusted him that much. The simple fact that he trusted anyone at all after everything he had been through was a miracle. He held his brother a little tighter when he thought of how many times he could have lost him, especially the most recent one. He didn't know what he would do without JJ. Sure, he had friends, cousins even a sort-of girlfriend, but none of them came anywhere near to the close bond he had with his brother. They were like twins then brothers by adoption who were more then a year a part, even though Parker did clearly take a big-brother role. They were closer then anyone could ever understand.

Finally after several more minutes, JJ looked at Parker, wiping his eyes and taking a shaky breath, "I'm ok now." he said. "Are you sure?" Parker asked before he moved. Though there were still tears in his eyes, JJ nodded and Parker knew better then to protest. Parker stood up first and offered his hand to JJ, who walked over to his bed and sat down on it, bringing his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them ad he buried his face in his arms as he often did lately. Parker sat next to him, trying to figure out what to say to comfort his brother now. Finally, he spoke up, "It'll get better, JJ." he said softly. "I hope so." was the quite response from JJ, who remained curled up in a ball.

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**Author's Note: **I swear, sometimes I think life conspires against me to keep me from writing. I had to stay with me grandmother for about a week because of her cataract surgery (a success!) and I couldn't get on my laptop for around a week and a half and was having to share one charger for about two weeks before that with my dad ... and still am now. Then there's the fact that I'm homeschooled and don't have Summer off. Add a few other things and well ... sorry. At least it gave me some time to figure out what to do with Connor. I hadn't really expected people to want more of him. I went back and forth on what to do. Have him hear the whole thing? Have him just leave? Have him talk with Carly after she leaves the room and maybe get a hint or two? But I finally decided on this.

Thanks to _A_, _y and r fan_ and _jhol7689_ for their reviews!


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21:**

Jack ran his hands through his hair. He'd come to visit JJ only to be told that the boy hadn't left his room since the day before when his friend had witnessed a flashback. He knew that Connor was not likely to forget about what he'd seen and JJ apparently did too. He didn't think the other boy would push JJ to know what happened, but the simple fact that he knew somethingwas wrong was likely what had JJ upset. He tried to decided what to say to his son, but he still wasn't sure. He been trying to decided what to say since Carly called him at work and told him what happened.

JJ was alone in his room at the moment as Parker had gone to give another tennis lesson, though Carly said she had nearly had to drag him away from JJ. Jack knew Parker was very protective of JJ, but he was afraid his oldest child was still blaming himself. He sent up a silent prayer that he would say the right thing before he knocked on his son's bedroom door. He heard a quite "Come in." and slowly pushed the door open. He felt his heart break all over again when he saw his son. JJ was again curled up in a ball and staring at the wall, as he tended to do a lot lately.

"How are you doing?" he asked as he sat on the edge of his little boy's bed. "Fi- ... I've been better." JJ nearly whispered, obviously not wanting to admit his feelings. Jack waited for his son to make eye contact with him before responding and when the boy finally did, he found himself wondering yet again how many times his heart could break in such a short time. The child's eyes held endless amounts of pain, way to much pain for a thirteen year old to ever know. He had to take another moment to collect his thoughts before he could manage to reply.

"I'm so sorry, JJ." he told the little boy. JJ was quite as he tried to figure out how to respond, "It's not your fault." he finally said. "I should have known better then to let you go to that party. It's my job to protect you." the father answered. JJ shook his head, "I was with Parker and Liberty ... you couldn't have known I wouldn't be safe." he softly told his father. Jack wasn't giving in though, "We should have been more careful. With everything you guys have been though ... it was stupid to not take every precaution." he insisted. The young teen sighed, "It wasn't your fault. You sound like Parker." he said.

That got through to Jack more then anything else could and he quickly changed the subject. "Parker's still blaming himself?" he asked. Though still upset, JJ managed to give his father a look that clearly said 'Of course he is.' he shook his head before replying, "He's Parker, dad. You know how he is with us. I can't convince him it's not his fault.". His father took a deep breath and looked at the ceiling, "I'll talk with him again when he gets back. Your mother told me you had a bad day yesterday." he said, changing the subject. JJ buried his head in his knees before replying, "Connor saw." was all he said.

Jack slowly put a hand on his son's shoulder, the boy's entire body stiffened at first, but he quickly relaxed. "Connor is a great friend to you boys. You know he isn't going to tell anyone. He may be worried, but he won't tell." he assured the child. JJ sighed "You know Connor. He may not pay attention to stuff first, but he can get really curious, he's gonna want to know." he said into his knees. Once Jack was sure he understood what his son had said, he replied, "Would it really be that bad if he knew?". JJ's head shot up and he looked straight at his father, "I can't tell him, dad!" he exclaimed.

His father sighed, wishing things could be easy for his children for once. "He wouldn't make you give him details, he never had before. He's always waited on you, no matter how curious he was." he told the boy. JJ shook his head, "I don't want him to know this. I don't want anyone to know this." he insisted. "I know you never want people to know when you're upset, but he's still going to be your friend. This won't change that. All it would mean is that he would understand why some things might make you uncomfortable. And having a friend know might make things easier when it's time to be in school again." Jack reasoned. JJ sighed.

* * *

Parker rode his bike back into the yard hoping he had managed to give a slightly better tennis lesson to this boy then he did to the girl the last week. He sighed when he saw Connor come walking up to him. "Hey! Can you guys hang out today?" the other boy asked. Parker tried not to look to uncomfortable with the situation as he replied "I don't know JJ ... JJ hasn't been feeling all that great today.". Connor's face fell, he was afraid that his friends were upset with him, "Oh, well, can I come in for a minute then?" he asked. "Yeah, I guess." said Parker as he walked into the house.

Parker put away his things and turned to his friend. "Can you just, hang out here for bit? I need to check on JJ." he asked. "Sure." Connor replied, sitting on the couch. Parker ran up to his and JJ's room and went in. "Hey, JJ. Are you doing ok?" he asked before he even noticed his father. "I'm better." his brother asked. Parker smiled, "Oh, hey dad!" he said before turning right back to JJ, "Connor's here." he said carefully. Jack gave JJ a meaningful look and JJ sighed. "Can you ask him to come up?" he asked Parker.

Parker looked surprised, "Are you sure?" he questioned his brother. JJ nodded. Jack stood up and walked over to Parker. "I need to talk to you too, so we'll talk in the kitchen while they talk in here." he told his oldest son. Parker gave Jack a fleeting 'Are you insane?' look before his father pushed him towards the door. As they got back downstairs Parker walked over to Connor as Jack headed for the kitchen. "JJ wants to talk to you." he said. Connor looked confused, "I thought he was sick?" he said. Parker didn't quite know what to say, "No, not sick. I think - I think he's gonna tell you." he finally said.

* * *

**Author's Note:**I'm sooooooooooo sorry. I hope you guys don't give up on me! I'm a senior this year and I've had a lot of other stuff going on, there's just not as much time for writing as I would like. I hope you guys like this chapter though.

_jhol7689:_JJ will tell him in the next chapter, I promise. And I already have that part written, so it will be soon. That's a really good idea about Parker too, I think I may have to do that.

_Bliss:_ Thank you! As I said, it'll happen in the next chapter. I just felt that there needed to be a little more before that happened.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22:**

Connor carefully knocked on his friends door, "Um, It's me." he said, obviously nervous. "Come on in, Connor." he heard JJ say. He opened the door to see his friend sitting on his bed and so he went to sit across from him on Parker's bed. "Are you alright? I mean, I didn't hurt you or anything, did I?" he asked. "No, you didn't." JJ lied, with everything else, he certainly didn't need Connor feeling guilty. "Well, Parker said you wanted to talk." Connor said, attempting - with little success - to hide his nervousness. JJ took a deep breath in a desprate attempt to calm his own nerves. "Yeah." he said.

"I guess I probably freaked you out yesterday." JJ started. Connor gave an embarrassed nod, "A little." he admitted. "I'm sorry, I just ... when you tackled me - it was a flashback." he tried to explain. "A flashback?" Connor questioned. JJ frantically glanced around the room for a second as he tried to find the words to say what he was trying to say. "Have you ... um, have you seen the news lately?" he awkwardly asked. "Yeah." Connor replied, avoiding the fact that he only had the day before after he got home, when he both watched the news and read the newspaper looking for any mention of his friend.

"Well, did you hear about the boy ... that was ..." he trailed off, unable to make himself say it. Connor looked confused as he tried to figure out what exactly his friend was talking about. JJ looked at the floor as he spoke again, "The one that ... last weekend. Um, it was me." he whispered. Connor's eyes grew wide as he realized what JJ meant, "You were - it was you?" he asked, obviously in shock. JJ wasn't able to do anything but nod. "Why were you there?" the other boy asked before he could stop himself, blushing as soon as he finished.

JJ still didn't look up as he spoke. "It was a stupid party. Parker went for a walk and I went to find him. I got lost. When ... when the car came-" he was horrified to hear himself give a sob. Connor looked as though he couldn't decide whether to run or comfort his friend. He settled for reaching out to awkwardly pat JJ on on the shoulder, but when JJ not only pulled away but curled into a ball he pulled his hand back quickly, "I'm sorry." he said quietly. "It's not you. Don't apologise." JJ said, with as much composure as he could muster.

After a moment of awkward silence JJ finally resumed his story, knowing Connor would be far to curious until he had a basic outline of what happened, he always was. "I thought it was someone from the party and they ... and they could tell me how to get back. But it was a man and he chased me." JJ took a quick breath and tried to calm himself down. Connor was to shocked to speak. "I - I wasn't fast enough. He caught me and he hit me and stuff and then he ... Parker heard me scream and he called for me - he scared ... him away. He saved me." the shaking boy managed to finish.

After a long silence during which neither boy knew what to say, Connor finally spoke up. "Parker's good at saving people." he said, with a slight attempt at humor. JJ gave a little smile, "He is. If he hadn't come ... I think - I think I'd be dead." he responded. Any hint of humor flew from Connors face at the realization that not only had one of his best friends been raped, but he had come close to death. 'Why does this stuff always happen to you.' he thought, managing for once to not say what he was thinking. "I - I'm so sorry that happened." he finally managed to say.

JJ sighed, "I am too. I know this is awkward. I hate that everything has to be like this. Why can't things be easy for once?" he asked, fighting back the tears he really didn't want to show in front of his friend again. Connor looked down, embarrassed that he couldn't help his friend and that he didn't know what to do. "I don't know. Maybe after this things'll get better. I think it's definitely your turn to have a ... calmer life for a while." he said after thinking for a little while. "I hope so." JJ replied.

* * *

**Author's Note:**I'm sooo sorry this took so long! I've had a big project I was working on and I've been busy. And also, I was feeling guilty cause writing for this story is actually coming much easier then for my other one and since the other one had reviews for the last chapter and this one didn't I was going to try and update it first ... I gave up (major writer's block there, but I'm not giving up!). I hope you guys liked this chapter!


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23:**

Parker sat down at the kitchen table, still wondering what this was about as Jack tried to figure out what to say. He knew that Parker was over-protective of his siblings and that he had a tendancy to blame himself for things that weren't his fault, he just wasn't sure how to deal with it this time. Finally he sat down across from his son and spoke. "JJ says you're still blaming yourself for what happened." he began. Parker seemed to sink into the chair before he replied. "I know you're going to say it's not my fault, but dad, it is! I left him! I should have stayed with him!" he insisted. Jack sighed as he wondered how he could make the teenager understand.

Parker knew his father didn't agree with him. Jack just didn't understand. JJ was his responsibility. Parker was supposed to take care of him. JJ had been hurt so many times already and he was JJ's big brother. He was supposed to protect him and he hadn't. JJ had been hurt again, worse then he ever had been before and it was his fault. It didn't matter that he was drowning in guilt over it, he deserved every bit of it. JJ was the one that mattered now, not him. So why did his father insist on saying that it wasn't his fault?

"Parker, you can't be with him every minute. None of us can be expected to be with him every minute, he's thirteen - almost fourteen. Right now I understand that he wants you there and that he doesn't want to be alone much - especially in public, but it won't always be that way. And it wasn't that way before. If you had followed him everywhere, never left him alone, I don't think he would have been to happy with you. And even if you had remembered to tell him you were going outside, what would have stopped him from following you later? This is not your fault. The only person who is to blame here is the monster that hurt JJ. Nobody else." Jack replied, trying to be as convincing as possible.

Parker was looking at the floor and shaking his head as he spoke "If I had told him, maybe he would have reminded me not to go to far, or maybe I could have promised to be back by a certain time, or maybe I wouldn't have gone at all and then ... and then he wouldn't have been raped!". Jack closed his eyes as he tried to figure out what to say. "Parker..." he started, but he was cut off before he could get any further. "No!" Parker said as he stood up, "It's my fault! If ... if I hadn't been talking so much, or if I'd been paying more attention, maybe I would have heard him sooner. Maybe I could have scared that guy away in time. If I just hadn't insisted on going to that stupid party! JJ didn't even want to go. If we'd just stayed home he would have been fine! It's my fault! It's my fault!" the guilt-ridden young man nearly yelled.

Jack did the only thing he could. He got up and he hugged his son, who was now openly crying. "Parker .. It's _**not **_your didn't do anything wrong. You saved his life. This. Is. Not. Your. Fault." he told the boy. "Yes, it is!" his son insisted. "Parker, sometimes bad things just happen and nothing can be done to prevent them. The only one at fault here is the man who hurt JJ, no one else. It's understandable that you're overprotective after everything you guys have been though and I know that ... I know that me and your mother haven't done the best job at being there for your kids. I know it's my and your mother's fault you feel like this, but Parker, it isn't your job to watch JJ and Sage all the time. They aren't your responsibility. I know you're their older brother, and I know you love them, but you're just barely a year older then JJ and only five years older then Sage. It isn't your job to raise them, it's ours. You don't have to take everything on yourself." Jack told the boy. This time Parker didn't respond, he just kept crying.

* * *

"So ... how ... um, are you ok?" Connor asked looking very awkward. JJ was trying his hardest not to bury his face in his arms to avoid looking at Connor as they spoke. "I'm ... I'll be ok." the young boy finally answered, remembering his promise to his brother. There was another silence before Connor spoke up again, "But ... you're not now?" he half stated and half asked. JJ sighed and looked back at the floor. "No. Not really. But ... I will be. Everybody is being really good at trying to help. Parker might be being too good. I'm not ok now. But Parker says I will be." JJ replied, his innocent faith in his older brother showing through in his heartbreaking statement.

"Ok. You know ... if you need to talk or just ... want to hang out and forget about it for a bit ... I'm here." Connor replied. JJ looked up and gave his friend a shaky smile, "Thanks Connor!" he said. He'd been terrified of telling anyone, but it seemed like telling Connor might now be such a bad thing after all. "Well ... I should go home I guess. Talk to you later?" his friend said. "Sure." was JJ's reply. As Connor left, he couldn't help but feel like he was one step closer to ... healing.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I'm not going to give you excuses this time, cause I have a ton, but none of them are really enough. I COULD have found the time to get this up, but I've had writer's block and I've been lazy. I will do my absolute best to never, ever take this long again!

_TheDollPrincess:_ Thank you for the review, I'm finally back to this story! And I really hope you'll keep reading!


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24:**

Parker had finally managed to calm himself down and he quickly wiped at his eyes when he heard someone coming down the stairs. It was Connor, and from the look on the boy's face it was obvious that JJ had just told him what had happened.

"I'm so glad you were close enough to hear him. I just... Everything happens to him, doesn't it?" Connor commented.

"I just wish I been able to stop anything from happening at all. I showed up on time for my mom, I should have shown up on time for him. I hate that he has to go through this after everything else." Parker said with a sigh.

"Hey - JJ's still alive and he doesn't seem to think he would be if it wasn't for you. Don't focus on what you could have done to stop it, cause you can't change anything now and ... he isn't dead. And he could have been. So, you did good. You saved the day again." the other boy rambled in an attempt to comfort his friend.

Parker rolled his eyes and shook his head at his friend. He really didn't want to send Connor on one of his "Super Parker" rants.

"Anyway, well ... I should go. See you guys soon?" Connor asked.

"Yeah, sure. Bye!" Parker called as his friend walked out the door.

Parker ran his hand through his hair. He was beginning to feel slightly exhausted and the couch suddenly looked very comfortable. However, Connor looked shaken up just from hearing the story. JJ had been the one to have to tell it, and it was likely that he would be upset again. At the very least, Parker needed to go upstairs and crash in his bed. Then he'd be in the room if JJ needed him.

* * *

Parker fought back a sigh when he opened the door to the bedroom he shared with his brother. JJ was once again in what was becoming his typical position - curled into a ball, arms wrapped around his legs with his face buried in his knees.

"Parker!" the younger boy said, startling and looking up when he heard the door open.

"It's just me, it's ok." his older brother assured him. "How did it go with Connor?" he asked.

"I told him." JJ said.

"Yeah, he said you did. You ok?" Parker asked.

"What did he say?" JJ asked, avoiding his brother's question.

"He said that ... he was glad I was there to hear you. And it's not fair how everything happens to you. That's all. Now, are you ok?" the older boy asked again.

JJ shook his head, "I really, really hate talking about it. I ... I'm glad I told him though."

Parker gave his little brother a smile. "Connor's a good guy. This'll ... It'll get better, JJ." he said.

"I hope you're right." was all the younger boy said.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I am a bad, bad, bad writer. Life got crazy and I swear somebody hit the fast forward button because it's December and ... how did that happen? I swear I didn't even realize it'd been so long! I kept thinking "I just updated "Unbreakable Bond", I really need to update the other story before I update it again." And I kinda had major, major writer's block for the other story. If I take to long again you guys have full permission to yell at me via review or PM!

Bliss and TheDollPrincess: Thank you SO much for your reviews. It really means a lot that you guys still read even with how awful I've been at updating!


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